“I will call to the past, far back to the beginning of time, and beg them to come and help me at the judgment. I will reach back and draw them into me, and they must come, for at this moment, I am the whole reason they have existed at all.” -Amistad 

I will call to the past, far back to the beginning of time, and beg them to come and help me at the judgment. I will reach back and draw them into me, and they must come, for at this moment, I am the whole reason they have existed at all.” -Amistad 

The spice must flow. 

The spice must flow. 

I’m 99.99% sure that you ate your burrito and then threw up on your date’s burrito and then took a photo cause you are a sick sick person. 

I’m 99.99% sure that you ate your burrito and then threw up on your date’s burrito and then took a photo cause you are a sick sick person. 

Sputtery splatter spots make me want to EAT EAT EAT EAT AND EAT SOME MORE!

Sputtery splatter spots make me want to EAT EAT EAT EAT AND EAT SOME MORE!

I took a Learning Annex seminar on innovative, new ways to serve baked potatoes.

I took a Learning Annex seminar on innovative, new ways to serve baked potatoes.

I think someone killed Groot and cooked him. :(

I think someone killed Groot and cooked him. :(

Starting a petition to make this a MANDATORY meal for ALL Ferguson police officers.

Starting a petition to make this a MANDATORY meal for ALL Ferguson police officers.

Tags: HATE COPS

I created a computer program that helps me decide what to eat for dinner. Unfortunately, I am not a good computer programmer. 

I created a computer program that helps me decide what to eat for dinner. Unfortunately, I am not a good computer programmer. 

When your cat jumps up on the counter and eats all the cilantro, and you don’t have time to go to the grocery store again so you wait until your cat throws up the cilantro, and then you just use that because the cilantro flavor will still come through.

When your cat jumps up on the counter and eats all the cilantro, and you don’t have time to go to the grocery store again so you wait until your cat throws up the cilantro, and then you just use that because the cilantro flavor will still come through.

There’s a lot of stuff going on in this photograph, but I think the most telling is that the can of fruit cocktail was not strained before being dumped into the bowl.

There’s a lot of stuff going on in this photograph, but I think the most telling is that the can of fruit cocktail was not strained before being dumped into the bowl.

My doctor (Uncle Mikey who lives with his Russian girlfriend Katarina) says I got low cholesterol and that if your cholesterol is too low, you can die so that’s why how come I gotta eat so much cholesterol now.

My doctor (Uncle Mikey who lives with his Russian girlfriend Katarina) says I got low cholesterol and that if your cholesterol is too low, you can die so that’s why how come I gotta eat so much cholesterol now.

I thought the only time I’d ever use the term “dribbly balls” would be in the bedroom, but here we are.

I thought the only time I’d ever use the term “dribbly balls” would be in the bedroom, but here we are.